What The Heck?!

The inspiration for this poem came from the fab Nicole over at The Brightness of These Days.  Nicole wrote a very funny poem about her post-baby body called SOS I’ve Lost My Breasts and asked others to join in.  

I came up with the first two verses as I was on my way to work.  I was smiling to myself, passing commuters with all this going on in my head! 

I’m sure lots of us have felt like motherhood has changed our bodies but I’m sure we also agree it was all worth it.

You can listen here!


Oh help me please, 

I have to squeeze

into my jeans

again today.


But my mums tum 

and saggy bum

are getting in

the way.


Give me grace

for on my face

are wrinkles

I can’t conceal.


From sleepless nights

and toddler fights

my tiredness

they reveal.


My push up bra

won’t go so far

to lift these

lifeless pups.


As I wipe up poop

they sag and droop

into the mouth

that sucks.


So pass the wine

it must be time!

It gets me through

the day.


My body’s a wreck

but what the heck

I’m a mum

hip hip hooray!


Life Love and Dirty Dishes
Prose for Thought


  1. 21st January 2016 / 10:27 pm

    Ha, ha! Brilliant! Humour & wine are so essential to parenting survival!

  2. 23rd January 2016 / 9:31 am

    Fabulous Tor! I just love this 🙂 #prose4t

    • 24th January 2016 / 7:13 pm

      Thanks Nicole, loved joining in! x

  3. 27th January 2016 / 2:07 pm

    This is utterly fabulous Tor – you really do have a great knack for comedic poetry! Brilliantly written. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought again xx

    • 26th February 2016 / 10:57 am

      Aw thanks Vic! Glad you enjoyed it. I’ll try not to stay away too long next time. xx

  4. 27th January 2016 / 10:14 pm

    Ohmygoodness, could this be anymore adorable (and accurate?) Haha! Love it, very cute look at the ups and downs of parenthood.

    • 26th February 2016 / 10:53 am

      Thanks Claire, glad you enjoyed xx

  5. 26th February 2016 / 11:58 am

    Haha love this. And love the word pups! I just wish that I had perfect pups *sigh* Pass the wine 🙂 #fridayfrolics

  6. 27th February 2016 / 11:49 am

    Love this! I was 34 when I had my son, with plenty of bikini-wearing years behind me, so I was psychologically ready to give up my body (within reason. Obviously I didn’t want to be suddenly obese), but I admit I am dreading the sight of my upper body once I finally stop breastfeeding! #FridayFrolics

    • 29th February 2016 / 12:04 pm

      I think I was ready for it too when it happened. Good luck! I’m sure you’ll look great…be proud 🙂 x

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